Studies show men generally fall asleep in 10–15 minutes, while women often take 20–30+ minutes. This is one of the top reasons women prefer to fall asleep before their partner — or alone. These micro-surprises cause unintentional “mini shocks” to the nervous system. These irritations activate the stress response, making it harder to sleep. Men are, on average, less affected by these stimuli. Sharing that space can feel like sharing the last bit of personal freedom they have.
Women often feel guilty suggesting separate sleep arrangements, even when they know it would help them. Better sleep often leads to better relationships — not the other way around. This heightened emotional attunement means women wake not just to sound, but to emotionally meaningful sound. Men don’t typically filter nighttime cues the same way. Men are more likely to remain in deeper sleep stages when the environment changes.
