Nighttime becomes a mental to-do list — and sharing the bed with a partner who is already asleep can worsen the pressure. It’s not the behavior itself — it’s the startle response, which women generally experience more strongly. Men, on average, sleep through more noise unless it’s sharp or dangerous. When the bed physically fits one body more than the other, sleep becomes uneven. Women tend to wake more easily when touched because their nervous systems are tuned to tactile cues.
Men generally experience touch as soothing or neutral. Women’s brains wake more easily to mid-frequency human-made sounds than environmental noise. This restriction increases stress hormones and lowers sleep quality. Sleeping together can cause a constant, unconscious temperature tug-of-war. Men tended to rest deeply when safe, relying on others to maintain social awareness. Women often shift their schedules to accommodate, not the other way around.
